THE CONNECTION SERIES: THE DANCE OF WORDS

THE GOLDEN ERA OF CONNECTION

We live in an era where the world is connected more than ever, where our words and actions can be shared and seen from across the globe at the click of a button. Communication has never been more accessible, convenient and comprehensive.

This should be the golden age of human communication and connection...

Yet why are we experiencing an epidemic of disconnection and discord?

Why is connecting with others described as something that is difficult and anxiety stricken?

I believe that while we communicate more often and conveniently, we have forgotten what the fundamental principles of connections are. We've lost the essence of human bonds and relationships.

CONNECT WITH INTENTION

EVOKE AND EXPRESS EMOTIONS

BE IN SYNC WITH YOUR DANCE PARTNERS

Do you think you'll have a good time and be successful dancing with someone who is following different choreography, moving out of timing and/or trying to express and evoke a completely different emotion to what you are?

Establishing and deepening connections are the same. They require both people to be in sync with their intentions, words, actions and emotions for the most part. Examples of this include but are not limited to:

- Friendships
- Romantic relationships
- Sporting teams
- Clubs
- Mentors/Mentees
- Family relationships
- General teamwork

Of course, it's impossible to be perfectly in sync due to our unique imperfections. Establishing, maintaining and deepening our connections will require us to adapt, learn and to put in continued effort.

The 'Dance of Connections' is one that never ends. It is a dance that evolves with time and your dance partners. It is a dance that connects you to everyone else.

You know your intentions. You are speaking and acting with purpose. However, establishing and deepening connections involves more than just our intentions, words and actions.

People will eventually forget what we said and what we did to a certain extent but the one thing that they will always remember is how you make/made them feel. After all, we are creatures of emotions.

Remove the emotions and we become empty husks of meaningless words, actions and behaviours. Someone who doesn't express and evoke emotion, is someone who people find difficulty connecting with and feeling comfortable/safe with.

Just look at kids! Expressive and evocative in everything they play and do. No wonder they have no difficulties with establishing connections and playing with other kids/people they don't even know.

Yet as adults, we disguise and guard our emotions behind a facade of maturity and professionalism and wonder why it is so hard to connect with others.

When we see something that is inspiration, impressive and/or intriguing, let yourself express so.

When we interact with others, don't just communicate your intent. Communicate your emotions.

Have the courage to let people see who and what you are.

After all, when you are dancing, it's not just about the choreography and steps. Otherwise, everyone would be a world class dancer that could perform with anyone. Dancing is also about expressing your unique emotions and evoking it in your dance partner and audience!

A core principle of establishing connections is to have a general idea of what your intention and purpose is for these connections. Communication and participation without this understanding dosen't usually lead to any connections, or the development of deeper bonds with people we already have connections with.

Examples of these general intentions include but are not limited to:
- Play/entertainment
- Education/information exchange
- To develop social, community and romantic relationships
- To inspire/help others
- To express ourselves/learn more about others
- Cultivate a sense of belonging
- Personal development

The concept of sports is a great depiction of this, as people from all backgrounds can connect/bond and find a sense of belonging in their sport of choice. Whether it is actively participating in the sport for play/entertainment and personal development, or it is the sense of belonging and social/community relationships that one seeks through the support of a sporting club.

These participants and supporters of sports have a general awareness of these shared intentions, and as a result are able to establish a connection with complete strangers from all different backgrounds.

Contrast this with someone without these intentions or the awareness of such intentions, in these situations, and you find someone that has difficulties with connecting with others in this environment.

For example, a person with no knowledge, passion or aspirations to learn of a sport, attends a sporting event is hard to connect with. However, if this was a person who was new but had clear aspirations to learn about the sport, establishing a connection with this person and them with others becomes much easier!

SPEAK AND ACT WITH PURPOSE

You have a general idea of what your intention and purpose is for establishing connections. Now you have to manifest this into reality, and a core principle that will allow one to do so is to now speak and act with purpose.

If our intention is to be able to play with others and develop a sense of belonging, we must ask to play with others or invite others to play with us, while doing so in a positive manner.

If we are interested in a potential romantic relationship with someone or are seeking a romantic relationship, we must have the courage to speak and act with purpose that aligns with this intention. Whether that is confessing to a friend, and/or putting yourself out there through dating apps, attending social events and/or communicating this intent to friends. If we don't speak and act with purpose, we will not find or establish the connections we are seeking.

We can't just want to dance and just think about it. We have to put on the shoes, attend a dance event and ask people to dance with us!