THE WELLBEING SERIES: SUFFERING IS INEVITABLE, FIND WHAT MAKES IT MEANINGFUL
Drawing on philosophy, psychology, and lived experience, this article delves into the universal truth that suffering touches every life. Yet within that suffering lies an opportunity to give it meaning. This article invites readers to explore the idea that meaningful suffering is not just bearable, but also empowering.
THE WELLBEING SERIESPHILOSOPHYQUALITY OF LIFEPARENTING
Written by Anthony
9/21/20253 min read
You cannot eliminate suffering from life. Suffering is inevitable and not neccessarily always negative. From the pains of ageing, being sick, to experiencing loss and/or making mistakes, suffering is an inherent evergreen fixture of life that can serve us:
- Suffering can be a catalyst for change, growth and wisdom. A force that pushes and prompts us to act to transcend our limits. Stephen Hawking, Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Muhammad Ali and Nelson Mandela. The greatest minds and athletes to the greatest leaders in history, they all share the universal experience of deep and great suffering.
- Suffering can inspire and deepen one's empathy and emotional/moral awareness. Witnessing and sharing pain is one of the strongest bonding and development experiences we can have. It sparks our compassion and love and ignites our inner desire for justice and action.
- Suffering can bring us meaning and fulfillment through the contrast and cost of the process/journey, and as a reminder of the impermanence of our peace, joys and loves.
THE TRUE NATURE OF SUFFERING
MEANINGFUL SUFFERING IS EMPOWERING
Some of the greatest joys and achievements of mankind are entwined with the greatest sufferings one can ever experience. From the wonder and dangers of childbirth and the performance of extraordinary human feats (marathons, body building and strongman competitions), to the devotion, sacrifice and love for one's family and/or religion. These all involve immense suffering, yet also bring an unmeasurable amount of meaning, empowerment and fulfillment.
Which goes to show, that it is not suffering that inherently is negative or devestating, but it's when one doesn't have anything meaningful to suffer for. That one's pain, suffering and sacrifices are all for naught. An existential dread/crisis that threatens to consume oneself, to end it all.
This highlights the importance of being able to find meaning and fulfillment in the modern lifestyle/world. Gone are the alleged shackles of family, community and spiritual/religious values. Replaced by the unparalleled freedom and empowerment of the individual. An economic world that focuses on endless productivity, overstimulation, consumerism and distraction.
Yet ironically, this has resulted in a world lacking in clear purpose structures and safe places/sources of belonging, connection and philosophy, that has been devestating the mental health and wellbeing of the people today.
CHOOSE YOUR SUFFERING
If suffering is inevitable, why not choose what you'll suffer for?
I've had the privlege to meet and interact with a lot of people. From people who had minimal suffering, to those who have suffered the most. We're talking about parents both working overtime to support their kids, people born without limbs, orphans and people from low socio-economic backgrounds, to people in positions of power, who have never had to "work" for survival but instead work for their passions and to avoid boredom.
What I noticed was that people who chose their suffering lived more meaningful and fulfilling lives. Which makes a lot of sense, because if you don't choose your suffering, the world and others will choose for you. This won't be in your best interests.
Choosing your own suffering allows one to retain their sense of self and autonomy, but also empowers one by demonstrating that we do have a choice. That we can choose to explore and change what we suffer for until we find what is meaningful and fulfilling.
For example:
- Maybe we find suffering in an office job unbearable, but find meaning and fulfillment in the sufferings of being overworked in the healthcare industry.
- Maybe we find the suffering of being an overworked healthcare worker unbearable, but find meaning and fulfillment in the sufferings of working in the creative arts.
- Maybe we find work/career as an unbearable suffering, but find meaning and fulfillment outside of work in spiritual and religious domains.
- Maybe we willingly choose the sufferings that come with having kids, adoption and/or pets.
Suffering and the process of discovering what is meaningful and fulfilling suffering will be different for us all. It is a deeply personal journey of self-discovery, self-awareness and understanding the world.
A journey that requires one's constant input and courage, to choose what to suffer for.